What have I become? Invisible
by Kisses.in.the.dark95
Summary: Every time Jade goes on holiday Beck goes to Tori for sex It becomes to much for Tori and does she do the unthinkable ONE SHOT FOR NOW BUT R&R to let me me know what to do xx
1. Chapter 1

**Ok guys I'm not sure if I'm going to leave this as a one shot or make it multi chapter it just depends on how you react to it. So it's another Bori story but it has Bade as well. So it's gonna be depressing in most parts but I hope you like it xxx KissesInTheDark95…**

I can't stand watching those two be all lovey-dovey. I'm the one who got the together; I'm the one he should be with. Can't he feel the electricity in those secret kisses? No I'm just a toy for him. He only comes to me when she isn't around and lately that isn't enough. I think I'm falling in love with Beck Oliver but he has the devil as his girlfriend and I wouldn't ever try to break them up. I sit there at lunch everyday imagining the way he kisses me and how he should be with me and not Jade.

"Tor, you ok you seem distance?" Asks my best friend Andre.

"Sorry Dre, just thinking." I tell him without taking my eyes off of Beck who is currently eating Jade's face off.

All I can think of is all the times his come over to my house or I go over to his every time Jade is away on holiday. One things leads to another every time and well you get where it goes from making out in bed. He shouldn't be with her. But I know that he loves her that I am just a game for him. He thinks he can just play with me and that I won't get hurt but what he doesn't know doesn't hurt. Actually no one knows about my secrets. Ever since Beck started having sex with me on the side its been breaking my heart every time he leaves. I know he loves Jade and that he just uses me when she's gone but I do love him. I end up cutting myself over how depressed I get and I haven't eating since our first time and that was almost 6 months ago now and that is taking its toll on me too. After the first time he told me that 'we can't actually be together, your my little secret' as he got dressed and threw me my clothes.

"Tori? Earth to Tori?" Robbie calls.

"Sorry guys I'm just out of it right now." I told them honestly. Beck and Jade had stopped eating each other to actually eat. He looked up from hiss food concern written all over his face. Why the fuck was he concerned?

"Tor you ok?" I just gave him a slight nod. "Where's your food?" He asked me. Why did he have to pay that much attention to me.

"Tori, do you need money for food?" Andre asked. I just shook my head.

"Tori tell me what is wrong right now.' Demanded Beck, Jade was getting angry at him.

"Who cares!" She yelled.

That's when I decided to yell. "It none of your fucking business now is it Beckett?" I yelled as I got up and ran into the halls of the school. I ran to my locker and grabbed my emergency kit and ran to my car. When I got there I made sure that no one was around when I pulled out the little razor blade. I took it in my long fingers and made 3 nice deep long cuts across my left wrist. There was already about 20 scars from all the other times I've done this. I grabbed my cardigan and pulled it on. I locked my car and went back to our table, there was still another 15 minutes of lunch left so I went and sat down. Beck and Jade were now on opposite sides of the table. I started to feel hope and then a searing pain in my wrist. I looked to down to see that Cat had grabbed my wrist I winced a little but it was loud. Everyone looked at me.

"Tori?" Andre said carefully. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I whispered trying to get through the pain. Cat let go and looked at me with puppy dog eye. "It's ok Cat." I told her in a normal voice. The boy that causes all my problems spoke up.

"Tori why is there blood coming from your arm?" He asked his voice filled with nothing but concern and love?

Everyone in the group looked at me. I tried to speak but all that came out was "Uh." The tears were streaming down my face and that's when I decided to run. I ran to the Black Box and decided that I was free from all of the questions. I pulled my bag to my lap and pulled out my pencil case I Knew I had a razor blade in there. My fingers grazed the top of it as I pulled it out. I took it to my left wrist and cut down wards. I watched as the blood flowed out. I heard someone gasp as they walked in. I looked up to be meted by a pair of beautiful brown eyes that I fell in love with.

"Beck?" I whispered. I got up to run and almost fell in the process. Beck came and grabbed me.

"No, let me go Beck. Just let me go!" I yelled to him but he just held me close.

"Tori, why?" He asked a little scared.

"It's none of your business." I said as I tried hard to push him away but he pulled me closer.

"Tori, you can trust me." He said. At that point I saw black dance across my vision. I'm losing too much blood. I started swaying in Beck's grip. "Tor, sweetie, are you ok?" I tried to nod my head but it felt to heavy. I passed out in his arms just then.

**Beck's P.O.V**

After I tried to make Tori tell me what's wrong she ran. I wanted to follow her. I NEEDED to follow her.

Jade started yelling about how I was too concerned about 'Vega' and not her. Truth is 'm not just using Tori I love her but I act like she means nothing to me and I feel bad every time. Jade finished her rant.

"That's it Jade. We're done. For good this time." She just nodded we both knew it was right. I got up and moved to the other end of the table next to Cat. Tori came back just then and I felt relieved that she wasn't mad enough to stay away. She flinched a little when Cat grabbed her wrist I thought nothing of it until I heard the sound of pain coming from her lips. We all turned to look at her.

"Tori?" Andre said carefully. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She whispered it was obvious that she was in pain. Cat let go of her wrist and looked at Tori with puppy dog eyes. "It's ok Cat." She told her in a normal voice.

"Tori why is there blood coming from your arm?" I asked my voice filled with nothing but concern and love? Yes love because I love her.

"I… Uh…" She tried to speak but she couldn't. The tears started streaming down her face and she ran for it again. This time I was going to follow her.

"I'm going after her. I'll call you guys when I find her." I told them silently telling Andre not to follow me. He just nodded.

I ran after Tori but I lost sight of her. I stood in the halls and thought for a minute. Her favourite place was the Black Box Theatre. I stood at the door and opened it silently. I looked in and saw tori in the corner with a razor blade sliding down her arm. I gasped when she sat there and looked at the blood.

"Beck?" She whispered and got up to leave but she almost fell. I ran down to her and grabbed her tight enough so she couldn't leave but not tight enough to hurt her.

"No, let me go Beck. Just let me go!" She yelled. She didn't want to tell me but I just pulled her closer anyway.

"Tori, why?" I asked a little scared. I didn't know why she was doing this and it was making me worry about her

"It's none of your business." She said as she tried hard to push me away but I pulled her closer. I wasn't letting go until she told me.

"Tori, you can trust me." I said. I was really worried about her and then she didn't say anything I go even more concerned. She started to sway in my arms. "Tor, sweetie, are you ok?" It looked like she was trying to nod her answer but she looked ready to pass out and that's what she did. I caught her in my arms and lied her down. I checked my phone. It was 12:30 class had gone in 5 minutes ago. I picked Tori up bridal style and ran to my truck lying her down in the passenger's seat. I sped to the hospital praying that Tori was going to be ok.

As soon as I pulled up I screamed out for help and 2 doctors or nurses came over they took Tori from my car and that was the last I seen her for 2 hours. When the doctor came out of Tori's room after what felt like a lifetime he said that I could go in and that Tori was awake. I ran straight to her room.

**Tori's P.O.V**

The doctor had just left and I was lying in my bed. I remember yelling at Beck because he saw me cutting myself and wanted to know what was wrong. I have no idea how I'm going to get myself out of this one. The door to my room opened I didn't bother to look up it was probably a nurse. I looked over to see Beck.

"Tori, can you please tell me why you did that?" He whispered. It sounded like he'd been crying. I felt bad. None of them were suppose to find out. I couldn't tell him I was doing this because I loved him and seeing him with Jade broke me.

"I can't say Beck. You weren't supposed to find out!" I cried. Beck looked straight into my eyes just then.

"Tori, did I do something to make this happen?" he asked me concern in his voice all over again.

"I can't tell you Beck!" I yelled just as the doctor walked in.

"I'm sorry sir but you have to leave now, I need to ask Tori some questions." She told Beck.

As Beck got up to me he walked over to me. "I will find out Tor." He said and kissed me on the lips and left.

"Hi Tori, I'm you doctor Violet. We need to talk about what happened and why your nutrition levels are so low." I nodded. I guess I had to tell her now.

"I'm just a toy to him, but I love him and seeing him with her breaks my heart every time." I told her.

"Wh sweetheart? That boy?" I nodded. "He does love you. If he didn't he wouldn't have stayed here for two hours. You didn't lose that much blood." She informed me.

"He doesn't love me, he loves Jade. He just uses me for sex." I whispered the last part.

"Ok. So what had happened today that made the problem escalate?" She asked. I told her the story of how I ended up here. She prescribed me antidepressants and told me to come in for weekly checkups about eating and to see how I was coping. I got up to leave. I planned on walking home because mum and dad took Trina out of town for 2 weeks and won't be back until the Monday after next. I walked out to the lobby and there waited Beck. He ran over to me and picked my hand up in his. I tried to protest.

He stopped me before I could speak. "Tori, I'm taking you home. I need to make sure you're ok. I do love you." He to me and I cried. I needed to hear those words since day one.

"You… You do?" I asked. He nodded. "I'll tell you when we get to my house." He drove me home in silence. He told me he loved me! Once we got to my house I got out of the car and ran to my door.

"Tor, you said you'd tell me." He yelled coming up to my door.

I didn't know if he really loved me or not. "You don't love me! You love Jade that's why you're with her." I told him.

"I broke up with Jade because I love you." He told me. I motioned for him to come in. I don't know why but I believed him.

"I… I uh did it because I thought you didn't love me Beck." He went to speak but I had to stop him. "If I don't tell you now I won't be able to get it out. It's been going on since the very first time we had sex and then you went back to Jade. I thought you loved her because she was perfect so I stopped eating. I realised that you just loved her and you couldn't ever love me so I started cutting a few days later." I told him.

He looked at me with sadness. "Tor, you are the most beautiful girl that I now." He leant into kiss me. His phone rang alerting him of a message. He read the message silently and pulled back. His whole attitude changed. "You're not my type of beautiful though Victoria." He said harshly.

"You just said you love me!" I yelled.

"I know, but honestly I just wanted to know why you've been acting so crazy. I could never love someone like you. Told you I would find out." He told me in a harsh voice.

That's when I lost it. "Get the fuck out of my house Beck and don't ever speak to me again. I fucking hate you!" I yelled as I pushed him out the door. I couldn't believe he had just used me again. Actually I can. He is an ass. If I never see him again it would be too soon. I walked throughout my empty house wishing someone was here. I decided to call Andre. His my best friend, he wouldn't judge me he would hold me while I cried and tell me everything will be ok. I grabbed my phone and called him. He answered second ring.

"Tor, what the hell happened today?" I could tell her wasn't angry just upset that I hadn't said anything.

I didn't know what to say to him. "Dre…" Then I started to cry all over again.

"Don't stress Tor I'll be there in 5. I'm bringing ice cream." He said and hung up. I tried to laugh but I couldn't I was just too broken. Andre was only brining ice cream because in all those chick flicks I made him watch the hysterical girls just eat ice cream and bitch about their problems. I lied there on there on the ground in a ball crying till Andre got here. He found me picked me up and carried me to my room. He sat with me in his lap while I cried. When I finally stopped he spoke.

"Tor, what's wrong hun?"

I gave him a said broken smile. "Beck." I whispered.

"What did he do?" I could hear the light growl in his voice.

"He said he loved me only to find out why I cut myself and stopped eating. Then he was about to kiss me then he said something and said he could never love someone like me." I tried not to cry and carry on. "I gave him everything Andre, my virginity, love, I poured my heart to him only for him to tell me he doesn't care."

Andre looked beyond pissed. "Tori I am going to fucking kill him tomorrow. I would do it right now but I know that you need me here." He pulled me into tight hug. "Why'd you do it all Tor?" He asked and I wasn't afraid to tell him.

"Because I love him Dre. I thought that he would love me more if I was skinny but that wasn't true. He loves Jade and that made me spiral down. Every time he would use me while jade was away it just happened again and again." I whispered.

"How long has this been going on for?" He asked clearly getting angry.

"For over 6 months!" I whispered hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"6 months and none of us knew till now? Why didn't I pick up on it your my best friend? I should've seen it. Tor?" I nodded. "Did you ever try and take your own life?" I nodded again. "How many times?" I was getting mad but not at me at Beck.

"More than 5 times." I hardly whispered praying he didn't hear unfortunately he still heard.

"That's it his fucking dead tomorrow!" Andre all but yelled with a growl in his voice. I nodded I wanted Beck to hurt. "Tor, I will always be here to look after you now, you're my sister and I can't let that douche hurt you anymore." I nodded my head. "Go to sleep Tor, your exhausted." I just nodded.

When I closed my eyes though I had the worst dream. I was with Beck after he found me in the Black Box this time he got to me before I could do anything. He told me he loved me and how he would never hurt me. I woke up with a jump. I looked around to see that Andre wasn't up here. I padded quietly to my bathroom and closed the door. I looked in the mirror and what stared back at me scared the hell out of me. I was a shell of myself. My brown eyes no longer shone, my hair was limp and I was pale. I looked terrible but I couldn't change it. I grabbed the razor blade and moved the bandage down. Just as I was about to cut Andre came through the door.

"No Tori!" He screamed to me. He ran over to me and took my shaking body into his arms and carrying me to bed. This time he didn't let go. I think he was scared that I would try to cut myself again.

The next morning when I woke up I realised that Andre didn't have his vice grip around me. I got up and ran to Trina's room and into her bathroom. I didn't want Andre to see this or to find me. I needed to do this especially after what Beck told me and those dreams that I had. I opened the bottom drawer and right at the back was the razor blades I kept in here. I know it sounds stupid but I have them all around the house just in case of an emergency like this one. I looked into the mirror and the same girl from last night stared back. She was broken and it was going to take some time to repair her. Just when I was about to start cutting my phone started vibrating. My mum was calling me.

"Hey mum." I said in my fake cheery voice.

"Hey darl we have a problem. We need to stay here for another 8 weeks. Trina got signed to a kids show." I could hear the shock in her voice. Trina was an alright performer.

"That's fine mum see you when you get back." And I hung up. Mum, dad and Trina were leaving me; they didn't want to be around me. I grabbed the razor blade and cut my wrists as fast as I could making 5 red lines on my left and 3 on my right. This wasn't enough. I lifted my shirt up and made several cuts across my stomach. I was starting to get dizzy but I kept going. I cut each of the cuts again making them worse and watching as the crimson liquid dipped from my body. I then found the knife that was in the draw as well and stabbed it into my side. I thought how Beck lied and used me, how my family didn't want to be near me so they weren't coming back and the only reason why Andre is her is because he has to be. The dizziness was becoming too much so I decided to lie down in the pool of my own blood.

"Tori! Tori? Where are you? Please answer me!" Andre begged. I couldn't answer nothing would come out. "Tori? Are you in here?" He asked coming into Trina's room. Just then I started coughing up blood. Andre herd and ran into the bathroom. Panic flashed across his face before he called 911. He pulled me into his lap and tried to stop the bleeding.

My eyes were starting to roll into the back of my head but I kept trying to fight it. "Tori stay with me. Don't you dare give up on me!" He yelled but not harshly.

"I… I love you Dre. But you don't have to be here with me I know you hate me… Jus… Just let me die already!" I whisper yelled. I heard the sirens from the ambulance just before I let the blackness take over.

**ANDRE'S P.O.V**

After last night I was afraid to leave Tor all alone. What will she do now because of Beck being a dick? But I had to go make us breakfast. I was walking around the kitchen for an hour cooking. My phone started vibrating and I just picked up without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey Dre here" I said.

"Hey man it's me Beck. Have you seen Tori? I really need to talk to her." Beck said to me.

"You stay away from her Beck. You broke her again. You used her!" I yelled to him.

"I didn't. I did but I didn't mean to. I need to tell her that I'm sorry." He told me.

"Go to hell Beck and don't you dare speak to her today." I growled. I hung up and walked up to Tori's room to try and wake her but she wasn't in there I panicked. If she was cutting herself or trying to kill herself I will kill Beck. I tried calling out to her but she never answered.

"Tori! Tori? Where are you? Please answer me!" I yelled trying to get her to answer. I walked into Trina's room the bathroom door was closed. "Tori? Are you in here?" I asked again this time I heard something. It sounded like she was chocking on something. I ran in the door and looked down to see Tori lying in blood I am gonna kill Beck. I called 911 and after pulled Tori into my lap trying to stop the bleeding. Her eyes suddenly started rolling back into her head. "Tori stay with me. Don't you dare give up on me!" I yelled. I was trying to keep my calm I'm furious that she did this but I'm even more so that it's Beck's fault.

"I… I love you Dre. But you don't have to be here with me I know you hate me… Jus… Just let me die already!" She whisper yelled. I started to hear the sirens from the ambulance just before she let the blackness take over. I was panicking did I get to her in time? Did she loose to much blood? Will she survive? If she does survive will she want to carry on? God I was scared the paramedics came then they called from down stairs.

"Hello? Ambulance here."

"Up stairs 2nd door in the bathroom." I called down to them I finally got the bleeding to stop either that or… I don't want to think that. The paramedics got up here and loaded Tori onto the gurni and took her away. They blasted the sirens as they left. It was around 8 o'clock. I got in my car and followed behind praying she was going to survive. When I got to the hospital I texted Cat.

_To: Cat  
>From: Andre<em>

Heyy Cat Tor and I won't be at school today x

I didn't want her to worry. I got a reply a few seconds later.

_To: Andre  
>From: Cat<em>

KK love you guys xx

That made me worry less about her. I ran up to the desk and asked for Tori Vega. The lady kindly informed me she was in surgery. She was in surgery because she cut herself so bad this til that the needed to sew her up and give her blood transfusions. I took a seat in the waiting room the nurse assured me that she would tell me anything as soon as she could. I called the school and told them that Tori was in the hospital and that neither of us would be coming today. Then I thought about Beck but I'm sure he wouldn't care. I sat there for 2 hours with no new news's on her. This could either be good or bad I didn't know. The nurse came over to me just as my eyes started to flutter close.

"Darling as soon as they have finished in surgery with her they are going to take her to room 1106. You can wait in there and sleep if you want to." She told me.

I nodded me head and walked to where she told me without any complaints. When I got there and got comfortable on the plastic hospital chair my phone started vibrating. Beck was calling me. I answered I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Yes Beck?"

"Why is she in the hospital?" He asked with worry in his voice.

"How'd you know that?" I growled.

"Sikowitz yelled it out in class today. Answer my question." He growled back.

"You put her in here. You made her spiral downwards and I tried to save her but I couldn't."

"What do you mean you couldn't? Is… Is she dead?" He asked.

"Almost. I didn't stop the bleeding though, she's in surgery. Why the fuck am I telling you this?"

"Because you know that I love her and that I would do anything to protect her from Jade!" He yelled.

"Get your ass to the hospital now. Room 1106 you can explain here, there bringing Tori in in 10 minutes." I hung up. They had already bought Tori in and she was awake and looked angry.

"Why didn't' you just leave me Andre, you would have been better off." She slurred.

"Don't worry bout what she is saying she is still on the drugs." The doctor told me as the switched her now passed out body onto to the bed and strapped her wrists to the bed with that padding stuff. They left after that. After about 5 minutes of staring at Tori Beck walked in.

"What the fuck dude?" He asked clearly angry at how Tori looked.

"It's your fault, you broke her. I went to make breakfast for us and then you called and I went to go wake her up but she wasn't in there. I panicked I called out in the house for her but she never answered. I walked into Trina's room and called her name again then I heard chocking and I found her lying in blood." I told him. "This is your fault I am going to kill you if she has any serious damage."

"Andre you're my best friend you need to understand that I would do anything to protect her."

"Then why'd you break her so bad that she tried to kill herself again Beck?" I asked getting angry.

"I couldn't let Jade hurt her. If she found out about us she would kill Tor, I'm protecting her. What do you mean again?" I didn't want to answer that and luckily the doctor walked in.

"Hi you must be Andre Harrison and Beck Oliver. I'm Tori's Permanente doctor Violet Wood. I'm here to explain to you what happened with Tori and what's going to happen when she wakes up. So Tori got extremely bad this morning. She cut herself so deep along her stomach and wrists that she lost so much blood. On her left wrist she hit a nerve. We won't know for sure if she did any serious damage until she wakes up." She pulled up a chair and sat down. "Know this is very serious, she stabbed herself in her side and hit her lung. We were able to repair it, that's what took us so long." She turned to Beck. "Know as a professional and that Tori has confided in me, I need you to stay away from her if you're going to keep up your act. She needs to be around people who love her and will tell her that." Beck nodded and Doctor Wood finished. "She should be waking up in either a few hours or a few days, it depends on how the blood transfusion went." She told us and left.

**Tori's P.O.V**

I was flying in my own personal space. I was at peace and I was happy. No one could stop me I was flying and I was happy. The burning that was inside had finally stopped and my breathing was normally. It was blissful and peaceful.

"Tor I love you, Jade told me that she was going to attack you and if that didn't work put you in hospital. I couldn't let her hurt you. Please wake up so I can see your beautiful eyes and hear you voice." I could hear this voice of an angel.

"Beck I'm right here. Listen to me, I love you!" I screamed his voice was slowly coming into vision and so was a hospital room.

"Looks like Jade didn't need to do anything. I put you in here myself. I was stupid I could have stopped Jade!" I sounded angry.

"Beck! I'm right here please look at me." At that point I just realised that Beck was looking at me. He was looking at me lying on a hospital bed with tubes and wires and everything attached to me. I can see and hear Beck but he can't see me.

"Beck, Doctor said she wouldn't wake up for a while. Come and get some food." Andre said.

"Andre! I'm here look at me!" I screamed but no one heard me.

"Nah I'm right I'm just gonna wait here for her to wake up. It's like I can feel her around me." Beck told Andre.

"I'll wait with you, I miss her." Andre said back.

At this point I was freaking out. What the hell was going on? I'm floating in between two states death and living. I could see Beck and Andre and hear everything but no one knew I was here. I have no idea what is going on and I have no idea what I was going to do about it.


	2. Waking up

**WOW you guys actually liked this story. I didn't expect for you guys to want me to continue… So thought I'd just let you know that what Tori is feeling is exactly how I'm feeling, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me again and then goes and calls me a slut and a skank. So that's how I can write this type of story… So here is chapter 2 for you all.**

**Tori's P.O.V**

I walked around the hospital aimlessly. I could see everyone but no one could see me. Beck and Andre were forced to leave about an hour ago and without them sitting there talking to my body I had nothing to do. I walked to the front desk on my floor and saw my doctor huddled around with others talking. I decided I should go and listen.

"As soon as Victoria Vega wakes up I need to know alright Adel?" She said to the doctor.

"Of course Violet, but what if she doesn't wake up? What we tell everyone?" Adel asked Violet.

"She is going to wake up, her body is just trying to accept the blood she will be awake by Wednesday morning." She said and walked off. I could hear the doubt in her voice and I didn't know what to do. I walked back to me room and tried to get my body to wake up. I stood there screaming, I through things but nothing worked. I sat and cried, I know I wanted to die but I thought Beck hated me and using me but he loved me. I wanted to wake up but I knew now that I wasn't going to. I accepted the fact that I was just going to be a ghost? For the rest of my life. I walked around the hospital again singing songs as I went. Just because I wasn't in a body that people could see didn't mean that I would stop what I loved. I looked out the window and saw that the sun was rising. I walked back to me room and sat down and stared at my body. 5 minutes later Beck walked in and sat on the chair beside me.

"Hey Tor. I was hoping that you would be a wake." He said.

"Hey Beck, I wish you could hear me." I said into thin air.

"I'm so sorry this is all my fault I should have broke up with Jade before I started with you, but I do love you."

"I love you too Beck. It's not your fault, it's mine I shouldn't have lost it." I whispered. His eyes started to flutter and he looked down. I didn't know if he was asleep or not but I went and put my hand on his shoulder.

Andre, Cat and Robbie all walked in then. Cat looked like she had been crying nonstop since I was put in here. Robbie was trying to comfort her, I wondered if they where dating yet. I was really upset that I couldn't hug my friends and speak to them. They all took turns speaking to me while holding back tears. They were here the whole day either talking to each other or talking to me. The nurse came in then and told them all to go.

Beck was still sitting down and said, "I love you Tor, just wake up for me." And kissed my for head.

"I love you toobeck and I'm trying." I said kissing his cheek.

He looked up straight away like he felt it. It was like he was looking right at me.

"Beck, did you feel that?" I asked a little loud.

"Tori, is that you?" He asked my heart did a flip I was excited that he could feel me, I didn't know if he could hear me though.

"Beck! Can you hear me?" I was getting in over my head. Andre walked in then to get Beck to leave.

"Dre I swear I heard Tor speak to me twice now." Andre looked sceptical. "Dude I'm not kidding she touched me and said 'Beck did you feel that?' Dude I'm not kidding."

Andre was about to speak but I went and gave him a hug. "What… What was that?" He asked.

"What did she do to you?" Beck asked eyes lighting up.

"I… It felt like someone hugged me."

"It was Tori. Tori please say something." Beck begged.

"I love you both and I'm sorry I did this. Beck stop blaming yourself and Andre stop thinking that you could have done something." I said their heads both snapped towards me.

"Tori?" Andre said. Damn I needed to wake up right now. I looked over at my body and willed myself to be in it. It didn't work but something did happen my body started shaking and wouldn't stop suddenly the machines started going crazy. I was starting to freak out. Dr Violet and Dr Adel came running in and pushed Beck and Andre out the door and racing over to me. There was something wrong in my head I knew that much and I was starting to really freak out. What if this was my last moments? What if I never got to see my friends again? What if I could never hug them or kiss Beck ever again? I sat on my bed as the pushed the bed through the doors towards the operating theatre again. I got up off my bed and ran to the waiting room and there was Andre and Beck talking about feeling and hearing me and next to them Robbie holding Cat telling her everything will be ok. I looked around for my family but I caught Jade with scissors and a smile on her face.

I ran to the operating room I was in and watched over the doctors as they worked on my body and brain. Apparently the shaking ripped out some stitches. They worked on me for two hours and took me back to the room. I sat on the bed and closed my eyes for what I thought was a few minutes but when I opened my eyes though I looked right into Beck's and Andre's eyes and god was I happy. I pulled them both in for a giant hug I was ecstatic I wasn't invisible anymore.

"Don't you dare scare us again." Andre said as he pulled me tighter.

"I love you both!" I said as I went back to sleep I was exhausted.

"No Tori don't go. Not again!" Beck cried.

"I'm sleepy though." I said.

"Promise you'll wake up!" Beck said with hurt in his voice.

"Promise, now shh." I said as I went to sleep for a few hours.

When I woke up I faced 4 concerned faces and 1 very pissed off face.

"Sleeping boyfriend stealer wakes!" She screamed. God this will be hell. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again but I was met by a slap to the face.

"Ow!" I muttered.

"Jade. Stop now!" Beck growled.

"Oh so you're just going to sleep with that slut, cheat on me and then have the nerve to tell me to stop? Yeah you can get fucked!" She screamed and slapped me again. I tried to move my arms to protect myself but they wouldn't move, someone put the padded restraints back on.

"Jade leave her alone she can't protect herself." Andre yelled. I could hear cat crying in the corner.

"Jade I do deserve this but you, me and Beck need to talk. Andre and Robbie please take Cat for a walk to try and get her to calm down. Buy cup cakes." I muttered I was still so tired

"Yay I love cupcakes!" Cat said as she ran out my room. Andre and Robbie left to chase after her screaming for her to stop.

Now it's just me, Beck and Jade alone in one room. This wasn't going to end well.

**Thank you so much guys you don't know what it means to me that you guys actually like it love you all KissInTheDark95 xxx**


	3. AN I AM SO SORRY 3 please read

Hey guys I am so incredibly sorry I haven't updated in forever but I am on my phone right now writing you this aurora note. My Internet got cut at home so I won't be able to update until I go to my grandparents house. I'll be there tomorrow night so I will be able to update then or the next day :( again I am sooooooooo sorry and I will update ASAP love you KissesInTheDark 


	4. Sweet Surprises and Bad Begginings

**SORRY BUT THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING… I HAVE I PROBLEM READERS YESTERDAY AT SCHOOL I FELL OVER AND LANDED WEIRDLY ON MY LEFT ARM, MY WRIST IS SWOLLEN AND MY SHOULDER DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT, MY PARENTS DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO TAKE ME TO GET CHECKED SO IN THE MEAN TIME I'LL ONLY BE USING ONE ARM GRRR HOPEFULLY MY PAY GOES IN SOON AND I CAN GET IT LOOKED AT UNTIL THEN I'LL BE IN SOME PAIN : ( ENOUGH OF ME HERE IS THE STORY... JADE'S MAJORLY O.O.C BUT THAT IS ONLY FOR NOW, MAYBE ;) TELL ME IF YOU LIKE HER PLEASE REVIEW. Xxx KissesInTheDark95 thanks Taylor310 for pointing out my mistake **

_Previously:_

"_Yay I love cupcakes!" Cat said as she ran out my room. Andre and Robbie left to chase after her screaming for her to stop. _

_Now it's just me, Beck and Jade alone in one room. This wasn't going to end well._

Jade came at me again but Beck held her back. "Thanks." I whispered. I would be able to protect myself if I didn't have these stupid leather straps holding me down. God I wanted to get out. Guess the doctors thought I was a risk to my life and I was before I knew that Beck wasn't just using me.

"Jade Beck and I never wanted to hurt you. I am sorry but I do love Beck and somehow he loves me too. I'm sorry that we hurt you." I looked into her eyes and I could tell that she was hurt and I felt really bad.

"I thought that you loved me Beck. I was trying to make myself love you again I was. I just couldn't I lost that spark but I still loved as a brother. I wish you had of told me then I wouldn't of had to act like the psycho girlfriend that I've been acting like." I was shocked This didn't seem like the Jade that I knew.

"I know I should have told you about Tori Jade but you never told me that you were falling in love with Andre. Next time we'll be honest with each other." Beck said I was so confused. Jade nodded her head. Then she looked at me.

"Tori I am so sorry. The girl you've seen at Hollywood arts since you've been there she isn't me. I'm a lot like you actually. I was afraid of losing Beck so I acted out in hopes of keeping him but that made him hate me as well. I am so sorry I would love for you to meet the real Jadelyn West." I nodded I was so confused.

"I'm tired and confused, can we talk once the anaesthetic wears off." I said with a stupid smile. They nodded and told me they were gonna go talk to the other.

"I'm sorry Tori." Jade said when she hugged me.

"It's ok." I told her as she pulled back.

Beck came over and kissed me. "Love you."

"Love you too." I whispered as my eye lids drooped close.

When I woke up I was in a hospital room. Why the fuck am I here? I wondered. I looked around and seen five concerned faces.

"Um guys why the hell am I in hospital?" I asked a little scared.

"You're awake Tor." Beck said as he came over and kissed me. I pushed him away.

"Beck Jade is in the room, don't you think that's a bad idea she is gonna kill me." I whispered.

Beck had been pulled away from me and now Jade stood in front of me. I tried to move my hands up to protect myself but they wouldn't move. Oh god.

"Please don't hurt me Jade please. I am sorry that Beck and I have been fooling around behind your back. Please please forgive me?" I begged Jade.

"Andre go get the doctor right NOW!" Jade yelled. "Tori sweetheart I forgave you last night remember." Jade said in a sweet voice. I just shook my head. "Fuck! Tori I don't hate you, you and I are going to be friends I promise you." The doctor came in then.

"What's going on in here?" she asked.

"She was fine this morning she remembered everything now she can't remember what we talked about or that I know about her and Beck and that I forgave her and she forgave me. She doesn't even know why she is here." Jade explained.

"We will have to do some tests but I believe that during the surgery, the second one, something went wrong. Tori's memories will come back to her eventually. It might be in a week or 6 months. In these types of cases it takes no more than 6 months though." The doctor explained. So I have amnesia. OMG I can't remember why I'm in hospital.

"Why am I here?" I asked. No one looked like they were going to answer. NOT GOOD.

"Victoria," The doctor started. "There was an incident, you got upset about something that you never told us about. You were admitted and you almost died. You now have amnesia but you should be fine. What is the last thing you remember?" She asked.

"Beck invited me over last night because Jade had left for Japan with her family the on Wednesday. We had sex last night and we were going to spend the weekend together. I guess I'm his dirty little secret." I whispered the last part.

"Beck, Jade, when was this?" She turned to them.

"3 months ago I went to Japan." Jade whispered hoping I wouldn't hear.

"I've forgotten 3 MONTHS OF MY LIFE!" I screamed. The doctor and my friends calmed me down.

"Tor don't worry your memory will come back to you eventually." Andre said. I didn't want to wait for it to come back. I didn't want to have a blank in my memory for god knows how long. I'm scared.


	5. Visits from the Doctors

**Hey everyone its been forever I know and I'm sure this update comes as a shock to you all. Well I'm better now and I plan on updating all of my stories at least once a week. Again I am so sorry it took me forever to get better but now I am I am dedicated to my stories and school love you all xx Also I'm bringing a little of Grey's Anatomy into it tehe ;) **

"_3 months ago I went to Japan." Jade whispered hoping I wouldn't hear._

"_I've forgotten 3 MONTHS OF MY LIFE!" I screamed. The doctor and my friends calmed me down._

"_Tor don't worry your memory will come back to you eventually." Andre said. I didn't want to wait for it to come back. I didn't want to have a blank in my memory for god knows how long. I'm scared._

The doctor told everyone they had to leave. They all walked out slowly not wanting to leave me.

"Tori I'm your doctor Violet Wood. I have to explain to you what happened and why you ended up here."

"Please do, I'm so confused right now I hate it."

"It's ok sweetie. The first time you came in was six days ago, you were brought in, in the back of Beckett Oliver's truck. You were passed out and bleeding heavily from your wrists. You had three horizontal cuts and one vertical which we stitched up. I checked you nutrition levels which were extremely low. I released you after talking to you. I prescribed you anti depressants and weekly checkups. The next morning you were admitted via ambulance into the emergency ward. We immediately took you to surgery and discovered the full extent of your injuries. You had five cuts on your left wrist and 3 on your right, 8 cuts on stomach and you had stabbed yourself in the side which had punctured your lung. Whilst in surgery we had to give you a blood transfusion. One of the cuts on your left wrist had hit a nerve, later on today we need to check to see how much damaged that caused."

I just nodded along, I had a feeling she wasn't finished.

"You were in a coma for two days and then you had a seizure. I'm not sure when, but you hit your head which caused bleeding on your brain. The seizures caused the stiches in your and some in your wrist to rip out. We immediately took you into surgery; we had the best neurosurgeon working on your brain Dr Derek Shepherd, I'm not sure what happened, but something went wrong Dr Sheppard will be up to talk to you about it. Lexie Grey and myself worked on restitching your cuts up. The next day you woke up and you were fine and you went back to sleep, then today you woke up with amnesia."

"Alright, how long until Dr Sheppard comes up?" I questioned curiously.

"Right now." Said a man about 40, with amazing hair, it could seriously give Beck a run for his money. He had on dark blue scrubs with a white lab coat over the top. "Hello Victoria, I'm Doctor Derek Shepherd but you may call me Derek."

"Hi Derek, just call me Tori. May I ask who this is?" I asked pointing to the lady who looked to be in her late 20's. She had dark brown hair and had on baby blue scrubs and a white lab coat over the top. She is so pretty.

"Oh sorry Tori. I'm Doctor Lexie Grey, I'm assisting on your case." She explained.

I nodded and Derek started to speak again. "So we are here to find out what went wrong during the surgery. Lexie will take you up for an MRI and while I'm looking at the films we will have Doctor Torres come up and take a look at your wrist." I nodded. "Alright then, Lexie wheel her on up to the MRI, I'll call a head and let them know that it's a priority case."

Dr Grey then pulled the bars up on the cot and made the machines portable. "Alright we're set to go." She started to push me outside the door when we were ambushed by my friends.

"Is she ok?" Jade asked concerned, I'm still confused about that.

"Where are you taking her?" Robbie asked.

Cat ran over and hugged me, "I'm Cat just in case you don't remember me." She whispered in my ear.

"I remember you Cat." She squealed in delight and ran over to Robbie.

"We'll come visit you as soon as you back." Andre called to me.

Beck came over and kissed me, "Love you hurry back." He whispered in my ear.

"As soon as I get back guys you can come in and see me." I told them all and they ran over and hugged me.

"I'm sorry everyone but I have to get Tori up for a MRI, we should be back in 15 minutes." Lexie explained and Robbie and Jade where first to pull away, then Cat, Andre and finally Beck after another kiss.

"As soon as I get back you are all explaining what happened, not the medical side cause I already know that, but why the hell I'm here." They all had uneasy looks on their faces. "If you don't explain I won't let you visit me. Can you take me up now please Lexie?" She complied and pushed the cot up to the MRI.

.

We made it back from the MRI in less than 15 minutes. Lexie took me straight to my room and I wasn't surprised when we got into my room that no one was in there.

"Where is everyone?" Lexie asked.

"I have no idea, but could you please stay with me. I remembered something while I was getting the MRI done."

"Of course I'll wait with you. What did you remember Tori?" She seemed excited. Lexie was so nice, I think she would be a great friend.

"While I was laying there in the machine, I was thinking about what Dr Violet had said about me being in a coma and having a seizure. I remember it happening, while I was in the coma I was awake, I was walking around like a ghost. I remember trying to get Beck or Andre to notice me, to realize I was still there and they did after I touched them. I remember hearing Beck saying he didn't mean to and Andre saying he should've helped me. Then the seizure happened I was scared and I thought those were my last moments, that I would never really see my friends again. I remember thinking I don't want to die anymore, I found out something but I can't remember what but it made me want to live. After that I woke up in a hospital room and that's all I remember."

"That is so good Tori, no one usually remembers that much at first, especially so soon after… Tori? Tori, are you ok?" Lexie asked concerned.

"I remember, Beck said that he loved, he really does love me. He told me he was just using me and he could never love someone like me, but he really does remember me."

"You heard that?"


	6. Good new comes with bad news

**Hey everyone. Here it is chapter 5 xxx love you all KissesInTheDark95 xxx**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS OR GREY'S ANATOMY OR ANY SONGS I USE IN THIS FANFICTION T. HIS IS MADE PURELY FOR ENJOYMENT**

_Previously:_

"_That is so good Tori, no one usually remembers that much at first, especially so soon after… Tori? Tori, are you ok?" Lexie asked concerned._

"_I remember, Beck said that he loved, he really does love me. He told me he was just using me and he could never love someone like me, but he really does remember me."_

"_You heard that?"_

**Tori's P.O.V**

Beck walked in then. "Were you listening then?" I stupidly asked.

"Yeah, just a little. Tori did you hear all that?"

"Yeah I could hear and see everything while I was in the coma it was weird. I didn't know what to do." I started to cry. "I'm so sorry I did this. I'm so sorry that I put everyone through this. God I am so selfish. Why would you even want me now? You know how crazy I am, I just… I just don't understand. And Jade she forgives us so easily." I started to ramble. I still don't remember exactly what I did but I must have been crazy.

"Tor, Tori we all love you that's how. Jade even admitted that she actually likes you. You just need to rest, wait for Doctor Sheppard to come tell you that everything will be fine and stop worrying your pretty little head." He told me then kissed my forehead.

"I'm so s…"

"Tori don't finish that sentence, because you have nothing to be sorry for." He whispered to me.

"I'm sorry Beck, but you have to leave again, Doctor Sheppard is coming in to see Tori again now along with Doctor Torres." Lexie told him.

"I'll get you as soon as possible Beck." I told him as he walked out the door. Not even a minute later in walked Doctor Torres, Doctor Sheppard and another doctor.

"Hi again Tori, this is Doctor Bailey, so scans came back and nothing serious went wrong during the surgery. Your memory will be back in the next 3 weeks or even sooner." He explained.

"Thank you so much." I stated so happy.

"But that was the good news." Doctor Torres stated simply. Uh oh! "You are going to need a lot of physical therapy to fix your wrist and to gain full movement again. It should only take a few months if you come to two sessions a week."

"You will also need to come see me once a week to see how you are going with coping with your depression and anorexia." Doctor Bailey said sympathetically.

"Alright, when am I allowed to go home?" I was curious, I hate hospitals.

"You may leave today, first physical therapy session is next Monday and you will have to see Doctor Bailey then too. Everything will be fine." Doctor Torres assured me.

Lexie went and got Beck for me and he helped me get everything organized to leave.

"Thanks Beck, for everything." I told him with a kiss to his cheek.

Beck helped me walk to the waiting room as the stitches in my stomach pulled and my head was pounding. Andre ran over to my and gave me a small hug. He stood on my right and helped Beck help me to his truck. Andre lifted me into the passenger's side as Beck put my stuff in the trunk.

"We'll meet you at yours baby girl, we're having a mass sleep over." Andre told me happily. Once Beck was sure I was safe and secure he pulled out of the hospital and made his way to my house.

**I am so sorry it is short but I'm having writers block. Let me know what to do xx KissesInTheDark95 xxxx**


End file.
